That Tall Blonde at the Callback — Doing Theatre While Adulting
Theatre is not a hobby. A hobby implies you carve out a bit of time for it, or fit it in when you can, like “I’m going to paint this weekend”, “I bowl on Tuesday nights” or “I think I’ll work on the hot rod tonight, honey.” Nor is theatre a job for those of us who do local, community, unpaid productions. We all have to have a means to support ourselves that theatre, for most of us, does not fill. But because of the commitment, I do often call it my “other career”. Probably the best word for it is a passion, because it requires a huge, inflexible commitment of time (note EVERY potential conflict now please, even though this show won’t open for another 9 months) that most will not take on unless they are ridiculously committed to this art form.
Note how many people you meet were in school plays in their youth, but relatively few choose to do it in their adult years. And it’s not because they didn’t enjoy it, it’s because they just don’t have the time and flexibility to do it. I did my last show at a college (Diablo Valley College aka DVC), with lots of young people whose talent is off the charts. One asked me about my job. This young man is super smart, and looking ahead to graduation and a career. And he wisely realized that the career choices he makes now will have a big effect on whether he can continue to do something he is passionate about. How does one possibly keep theatre in one’s life once school is done? Won’t it conflict with my job too much? I also know folks on the other end, with grown children nearing retirement, who also look at time commitments and schedules, and say “oof — that’s just too much”.
There are no easy answers to doing theatre while adulting. It is tough. And take my advice with a grain of salt, as I have been both successful and wildly unsuccessful at all of it. Here’s the best wisdom I can impart. Keep in mind I’m talking about local, unpaid, non-Equity community theatre, not professional theatre, in all my recommendations below.
1. Career Choice. It’s the opposite of the actor stereotype you always hear — you can’t take a restaurant or retail job that requires nights and weekends. Those are only for the professional actors, ha! Office jobs work great, because that’s what community theatres schedule around. Anything with nights and weekends generally free. I see a ton of teachers who do theatre (and teach theatre or music, but also science and math and pretty much everything), and for some reason, accountants (who knew?) I happen to work in technology, as do many of my theatre colleagues, given that it’s a top industry in the San Francisco Bay Area. Tech is known for long hours, but if you keep organized, it is doable as long as you have the right kind of role (see #2 and #3 below).
2. Spontaneous vs. Planned Travel. This is the big killer. If your job requires you to hop on a plane with little notice, it’s going to be a challenge for you. In general, Sales and Consulting/Professional Services jobs that require a lot of customer face time are very tough to work around. I’m in Marketing, and generally when I travel (a few times per year, mostly to conferences), it’s planned in advance and I can mark them as conflicts ahead of time. But even so, I once almost got fired because a boss insisted I had to travel during tech week, or it would get him in trouble with our CEO. My director must have been livid, but she let me go, and I missed the final dress rehearsal, and arrived home on a plane from Chicago minutes before curtain at the preview performance (my character didn’t go on stage for about 45 minutes into the show, so there was a bit of cushion, but they already had plans to send an ensemble member on if my plane was delayed). It was the most stressful situation I’ve ever been in, and I’m glad it has NOT been repeated.
3. Career Advancement. Not gonna lie, there aren’t too many CEOs taking the time to appear in Fiddler on the Roof. Not too many doctors and nurses either, unless you have dedicated daytime hours. If you want to prioritize your career advancement and put in long hours, or take that really big promotion, you’ll likely need to take some time off from the stage. You might also want to pause when you start a brand new job, in order to feel things out for a bit, and put your best foot forward while getting established and building your reputation in a new job/role. But the good thing about theatre is that it’s there when you come back! I took a 9 year pause, and while lots did change, many of the same people are still around at the same theatres.
4. Relationships. This has, personally, been the hardest one for me (and, of course, my husband). The time you’ll spend away from each other during rehearsals and the run is excessive. Every theatre spouse deserves a medal at the end of a run. Don’t take that spouse for granted, or fail to tell them how much you miss them when you are gone. It’s easy for them to think that maybe the reason you do so much theatre is so that you DON’T have to spend time with them, when for me, that was the furthest thing from the truth. If you have a partner that is also interested in theatre, BRING THEM ALONG! Crew is a great place for a helpful partner who may not want to be in the spotlight.
5. Kids. Tiny babies and theatre don’t mix, but once they are out of diapers and in school, I’ve found a show a year for mom or dad is doable. For a stay-at-home mom or dad, it can be downright amazing. You can leave the house! Have adult conversations! And most of it is while the kids are sleeping anyway! And now my daughter (just turned 9), has done a show with me as well. That wasn’t quite as easy as I thought it would be, however. Kids generally have earlier release times and we were in entirely different scenes, so there was a lot of reliance on Dad to come pick her up because she couldn’t stay “unsupervised” while mom rehearsed later into the evening. That, too, should get easier once she is a teen, and I hope we do many more. But I am also anticipating that teen homework loads and schedules and extracurriculars will put a damper on our theatre schedules in the future. Also — full disclosure — I’ve been able to work part time since I had my kids. I think if I was working full time AND had kids that I wouldn’t want to spend even more time away from them and theatre would go on the back burner again.
6. Friends. I’ve got a lot of theatre friends, and they understand “I can’t, I have rehearsal” better than anyone. But not everyone does understand, and you’ll probably miss some important stuff. I missed a good friend’s wedding and my 10-year high school reunion. I’ve rescheduled vacations and plans galore (summer vacation always comes AFTER you close your summer show). Like with spouses, make sure those you love know it, even if you have to make some tough choices!
